Mr. S. was given a unique Father's Day present this year, but to
explain its significance we have to back-track a bit.
Due to some appalling lapses of judgment, I found myself on my own in
my mid-20's, with two children with different fathers. The
details are too embarrassing to recall publicly, and anyway, 24 years
ago Mr. S came along, and made an honest woman of me, and over time
became a very good Dad, so it all worked out OK in the end.
Apart from their difference in gender, there is an important point of
difference between my son and my daughter. I was married to my
daughter's father, but not to my son's. His birth father
disappeared into a chemical haze when Matt was about 6 months old, and
when Mr. S and I met, the first words out of Matt's mouth, as an
enterprising 7 year-old were "Are you going to be my new Dad?"
Fast forward a couple of decades, and a lot of parenting under the
bridge, when Matt took us both by surprise by asking Mr. S to adopt
him. We'd all recently been on an overseas holiday together, and
the great time we had together got Matt thinking about what a terrific
Dad Mr. S had turned out to be. Once we had all got used to the
idea, however, we realized that none of us knew anything about adult
adoptions. We were not alone. The Family Law expert we
consulted had never done one before, and spent a lot of time looking up
law books.
Turns out there is no special process for adopting an adult - it's the same as adopting a baby.
Finding ourselves in the local police station on a Friday night being
finger-printed was not an experience we had ever expected to have, but
establishing we had no criminal record is evidently part of the
process. (Couples adopt, not individuals, so I had to adopt him
as well!) We both had to be interviewed by a social worker, to
demonstrate that we were suitable parents. Matt thought this was
hilarious (he was 30 at the time - what would they have done if we
flunked? - put him in a home?)
Eventually, an application was made to the Supreme Court, and it all became official.
Mr. S. is an only child, and has produced no biological children of his
own, so he is pleased to be an official Dad, and Matt was pleased to be
legitimized at last.
Come Father's Day 2004, Matt gave Mr. S a copy of his new birth
certificate. It shows Mr. S as his father and me as his mother,
which is weird, because Mr. S and I were still some 7 years away from
our first meeting when Matt was born.
It's a strange feeling to have your life re-written at the stroke of a
bureaucrat's pen, but seeing the very evident pleasure of Mr. S and
son, it did set me to thinking how many people there are in the world
who are bringing up other people's children for whatever reason.
Maybe we should have a special day for all those non-biological parents
out there - where would we be without them.
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Change of Life 
